dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
