she woke up with a sticky ear
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
