Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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