I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
