I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need to sanitize my soul.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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