remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize