There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
