Your favorite bartender is back from prision
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
