You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
