She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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