So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
