I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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