I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I am naked and annoyed.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
