We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
