Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
