i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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