At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
