Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You pole danced in your parka.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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