these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
