Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
did you just send me my own nude
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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