Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All the doctor said was why
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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