Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
