She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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