What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
