What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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