and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
love makes seman taste better
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
