like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize