Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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