i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize