i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There's even glitter on my cock...
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