My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
