Plan B is the new Plan A
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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