Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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