I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
