Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Randomize
