Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
