8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
