Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
