Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize