what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
