the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
