Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
