I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
me + whiskey = a bad person
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
