Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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