i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
