Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
