please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
