he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
