He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
