And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
