Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
