Pappa wants mamma naked
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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