but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
