I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
